Unsure of Our Homeschooling Choice

by Jolene

I pulled my 3 children out of school around mid year. At first it went great with the homeschooling and now they are fighting me. Not all 3 kids are fighting me with doing their work, just the oldest.

The youngest two are in Kindergarten and First Grade. The oldest is in 4th grade. He tries to get me to tell him the answers but I refuse and he pitches a fit with yelling, screaming, crying, and whining while refusing to do his work. It takes him all day long to do his work.

I cannot put him back into regular school because of the bullying he has had to go through. It was too traumatizing on him and I do not want him to go through that again. My husband believes I should enroll them back into public school but I do not want to give up on him.

Is there any advice anyone can give me that will help me with his moods? P.S. He is going through puberty right now and that does not help at all.

Hi Jolene,
I apologize for not getting to your post earlier. I hope your homeschooling has gotten better in the last month. I think you have made a good choice to homeschool and wouldn't give up.

For our family, we have gone through times where our children have not like doing their schoolwork, or a particular lesson. I personally think its important for my children to come to "class" with good attitudes and a teachable spirit. There have been times when we
have had to stop to focus on an attitude; we continue once our children have adjusted their behavior.

It sounds like he has some issues (bullying) that he may need to work through. I would take time to talk through areas of concern to him. I would sit down with him and go over the guidelines/rules of your family/homeschool - what is allowed and what isn't. If he doesn't abide by your school/family rules, then there are consequences - let him know what those are.

I was just reading a book on the Charlotte Mason homeschooling method. She believed that a student should not sit and daydream or dawdle over their schoolwork. I have not finished reading the book yet, and am not an Charlotte Mason expert by any means, but my suggestion to you would be to try setting a timer for 20 minutes or so. Whatever he doesn't complete in that 20 minutes, he will do later. Take a short break, move onto the next subject, set the timer, and so on.

I believe that it is important to choose a curriculum that fits a child's learning style and fosters a love of learning. Some curriculum can crush the creativity and natural inquisitiveness that our young children have due to monotony and/or busywork, etc.

As far as moods, look at his diet/exercise. He may have food allergies or need to get out and play/exercise more.

I hope this helps. Others may post additional advice or guidance for you.
Heather :)

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Jul 05, 2012
not perfect?
by: mrs dani

What?! Your kids arent perfect? Your school lessons & housework are not done by noon? Why, I bet your little ones arent even taking Latin!!!! (Hope you are getting the sarcasm )

My child went through somewhat the same thing in the 4th grade. From talking to other mothers (both public & homeschooled) many went through the same thing.

3 suggestions to go along with the great advice listed above:

1- try to do a field trip or light school day once a week. Perhaps do a spelling, review day or something like that or go to a musuem, park or library. It may be YOU ALL need a bit of a break.

2- the problem with your 4th grader " he pitches a fit with yelling, screaming, crying, and whining while refusing to do his work. " is a behavior problem not a schooling problem. He needs to understand certain behavoirs & actions are NOT acceptable. This needs to be delt with as you would any bad behavior. A combination of punishment & rewards might help. Something I did was my child loved to play the XBOX the grandparents bought them. The deal was that ALL schoolwork had to be completed by dinner time or no play that evening. If they got their work done sooner, they could play. It took a couple of weeks, but they got tired of seeing their siblings finish by lunch time & play the afternoon away. I have kids who are big sticker fans, if they do a good days work (not perfect but do work ) they get some. I also will give a $1 a day for a month. (yeah, bribery is not beneath me)

3- be flexible. I have a child going through puberty too. They have asked to be able to sleep late sometimes. As long as the work gets done, I allow at least 2-3 days a week to sleep until they get up around 9 or 10 (unless they prove they can not get the work done then they are up at 630 every morn) Also, shut off the TV & electronic devices at 10. That will help EVERYONE's sleep

Be sure also get into a good homeschooling support group. They can help you with ideas & give your child some new friends.

Hope this helps

Jul 05, 2012
Re: not perfect?
by: Heather

Thanks for taking the time to share; your tips are helpful! Blessings (from another imperfect homeschooling mom), Heather :)

Jul 06, 2012
Hang in there
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm a homeschool dad, I've helped some, but my wife deserves all the credit. My oldest is a great kid, (opps- young man)... perfect no. He just graduated. Like they say, when your at the end of your rope... tie a knot and hang on. It's going to be one, (well... ) lets just say interesting ride. Is it easy No. Is it worth it YES!
Its a lot like, well... parenting (on steroids). Don't outsource your schooling... or your parenting. Hang in there. If something is not working, change it, give it sometime see if it works for you. That's one of the great things about homeschooling.

Jul 06, 2012
something else
by: mrs dani

Something else I forgot to mention. Is the 4th grader having trouble reading? I noticed one of my kids holding their book real close to their face. After a quick trip to the eye doctor we found they needed reading glasses. Observe the child when they are doing their work. It may be a "seeing" problem.

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