Should I Homeschool My Extremely Shy Child?

by Karin

Should I Home School My Child?

Should I Home School My Child?

I am a mom to two wonderful boys. My oldest is sixteen and the youngest is six. My older child has Asperger's Syndrome and attended public school until 9th grade. At that time, we decided to home educate him and he has thrived.

My youngest attended a private christian pre-K last year and he cried everyday. He is so outgoing at home and with his grandparents, but becomes so shy around children his own age. He is quiet around adults, but will talk when spoken to. He has a speech delay and sees a therapist twice weekly. We decided to home educate him for Kindergarten. He did well academically, but missed out on making friends his own age.

We live in a very small rural town where homeschooling is not the norm. There are no support groups. We see children at the park and the library, but my son won't approach them and goes out of the way to avoid them. I know that he wants friends his own age and he has mentioned wanting to go to 1st grade at our public school, but then will cry and say that he wants to stay home.

I'm torn and I want so much to do the right thing for him. Should I continue home education in the hopes of building his self-confidence and character despite his missing out on friendships with his peers, or should I enroll in public school and endure the tears and teasing (due to his severe speech delay)?

Hi Karin,
I have one word for you... Yes! :)
I will let other website visitors respond first; someone may have dealt with the same situation with their child.
Heather :)

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Jun 12, 2010
by: Mrs Dani

Ok, let's start with the school question. If your child is having so much difficulty in school, regardless of if they are shy, hyper, smart, slow, whatever...homeschooling is a great option.

Now about him. You need to see if you are setting a good example. Does he see YOU going up and introducing yourself to people or sitting back and waiting? If you are shy, as difficult as it is, you may have to force your self out of it.

I am very outgoing. One of my children were not. While I did not expect her to be like me, I made it clear, she was going to go up to people and introduce herself and learn to be friendly for the sake of good manners. I explained that people sometimes mistake shy for rude. Yes, we had some "painful" moments, but I explained this is good manners and we must learn them. I told my child (some would say force) them to go up, greet and introduce themselves to visitors at church or to their new neighbors (places they were comfortable and familier with). After a while it became second nature and she did grow out of her shyness a bit.

I have had several friends who were (in their words) painfully shy as children. They told me the best thing that happened was their parents would force them to introduce themselves to others. As a child, they remember being it torture, but as adults, they are very thankful.

There is nothing wrong with being quiet and a point. This may be a long, difficult and painful process, but it is a great lesson. Start with, "Hi, my name is ___. This is my son. Go ahead and introduce yourself, honey" Work form there.

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