I really do have to agree with the other moms here - you really sound like you are being very very hard on yourself.
Frankly homeschooling is not a club, and who ever told you it was(ie- mega mom who thinks she has the right to tell others not to reproduce) - is a loser without a life.
Homeschooling is all about personal choice - we homeschool in conjunction with our local public school - (Right here is where the mega moms say "WHAT?!?!?) and it works extremely well with my 10 yr old ADD (Inattention not hyperactivity) son.
We also used public school to help my youngest son with a speech delay.
You may be able to get involved with an online homeschool program (google OHVA in Ohio) where a certified school teacher helps with homeschool. We take the yearly Ohio Achievment Tests - they are free and they are an acceptable form of showing progress - which is required in Ohio.
(Nationalized tests can cost hundreds of dollars)
Finally I would really encourage you to talk to your childs doctor - they may be able to prescribe something to help with the inability to focus - or you could talk to a local herbologist for a more natural treatment such as diet and limiting exposure to synthetic materials.
Finally I would GREATLY encourage you to break ties with the judgemental legalistic people in your life - like this very negative woman you mentioned - and find a group of like minded - able to chill out - homeschoolers who will commit to support you - with out all the judgement.
Praying for you and yours!
Dec 02, 2009 Rating
So sorry by: Anonymous
You are being very hard on yourself.
When I read the part about your daughter not wanting to get dressed or ready for an outing, I'm wondering if maybe your daughter has some depression issues. I am by no means a psychiatrist.
Maybe if she volunteered somewhere or got involved in sport.
I suggest this because my 17 yo son was like this. Nothing seemed to work and he fought me. He gained weight. But, once we got him involved in something he really wanted to do outside our home---in our case playing football--we really fought it--he lost 40 pounds, is getting all A's, and actually does chores the first time I ask.
I look back now, and I see that he was depressed.
I just didn't see it.
Will be praying for your family--have been in your situation.
Dec 01, 2009 Rating
don't give up by: Anonymous
I am so sorry to hear of your frustrations; esp. the lack of support from other homeschoolers.
I think you are being much too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have provided a multitude of learning opportunities for your daughter. Some children just process things very differently. My kids have had their own struggles with learning, motivation, and follow-thru. It is not an easy time when everything seems to be going against you.
Don't forget, many kids who go to school end up feeling the same way as your daughter. The kids who attend school are not guaranteed some sort of rosy future; they will have struggles just like everyone else. I am not saying that it is wrong to put your daughter into school (anything but!), because I believe homeschooling is always evolving, and sometimes it will mean a return to school for any number of reasons. But please don't blame yourself. If your daughter had attended school all these years, who's to say where she would be now?
For what it's worth, I have a good friend who is a passionate unschooler. Her first child did attend high school and is now attending college, and doing fine. Her second recently started high school and her third plans to start school next year. None of them ever had much "formal" type of education, but all are learning what they need to learn, and all have adjusted well to the world outside of homeschooling. Unschooling might not be perfect for your kids, but don't berate yourself for not using a formal curriculum, either.
Maybe you could try sitting down w/your daughter and explaining your worries and concerns? Try to help her see the future as you see it, so maybe she will begin to see the need to work on some things a little more. And keep up w/capitalizing on her interests.
I hope you can find some more supportive homeschooling friends; please just ignore the people who are not helpful. No one has the right to judge you.
