Homeschooling Socialization Fears

by Tina
(New Zealand)

I am currently having a hard time deciding whether or not to homeschool our children. I have strong convictions but I worry terribly that our kids will resent us for 'missing out on school', 'not becoming potential doctors', or thinking later on in adult-life that we were overprotective parents trying to shelter and control them and possibly rejecting us. That is my greatest fear.

Our eldest is just 3 1/2 but already talking about going to school when she's bigger and is expecting to. How do I say no if she wants to go? She is very outgoing, sociable and extremely intelligent.

I hope you can help... this is just doing my head in and I feel like I need to make a decision to put my mind at rest.

Thanks so much


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Feb 17, 2009
No need to fear or worry....
by: @TraciKnoppe

I'm currently in my 12th year homeschooling my children. One graduated in 2004, with three more still at home and homeschooled.

Our homeschooling journey began a little differently in that I pulled my third child out of public school (oldest two remained in public school through to their graduations) at the end of her 5th grade year. One reason: I did not at all like the type of socialization she was getting in public school! Yep, socialization was one of the reasons I removed her from public school!

The second reason was academics. My children are very intelligent, and my oldest three tested into the public schools 'gifted' program. However, that program did little to advance them at a pace they needed, it just provided more work for them to do, in addition to their regular classroom work. So I opted to remove my third child and homeschool her - which I did through to her graduation.

I know that here in the US, homeschooling is becoming more and more commonplace, with over 1 million children now being homeschooled. The options, services and activities available to homeschool children is amazing and vast.

For example: many homeschool support groups offer co-op learning, organized sports, science fairs, music classes (including choirs!), regular skating or bowling activities, field trips and so much more.

When my daughter graduated, our homeschool support group put on a graduation ceremony and there was a graduating class of 34 homeschooled students: complete with caps, gowns, DIPLOMAS and signed certificates from our state Governor acknowledging that they had met the graduation requirements for our state.

Homeschoolers do not have to miss out on any socialization; the benefit of homeschooling is that YOU get to choose the type of socialization your child will receive.

Feb 17, 2009
Let me make sure
by: Mrs dani

Let me make sure I understand your question. Are you asking if a child who spends 180 days a year with the same age children who in many cases are put in a classroom because of the letter their last name begins with and are only allowed to talk in the halls and at lunch; unless they get too loud (or as is the case with a local school they are not allowed to talk at all in the halls or lunch because the administration has decided that is when kids get into trouble) is more able to interact with others than a child that spends day in and day out with children & adults of all ages in many sorts of settings (i.e. church, girl scouts, zoo & museum trips, grocery store) from all sorts of ethnic & economic backgrounds (do not even try to lie about that one. In schools, most everyone is from the same background. People tend to live where there are others like them)
News flash: in the "real world" you will not be in an office with everyone of the same age or maturity level. Look at you the teacher. You are with adults of all ages (and maturity) and kids.

I understand your concerns, but I should think you should have more fear if they are in a public school. DO NOT ALLOW FEAR TO DECIDE FOR YOU. I have discussed this on my site at under the catagory "Homeschool answers & encouragment"

side note:
(And I remember being told many times by my teacher, "turn around young lady and quite talking. If you are done with your worksheet, get a headstart on your homework. We are not here to socialize, we are here to learn." Or mabey it was just me they told that to all the time)

Feb 18, 2009
School Yard Coolness vs Reality
by: Kyrie Eleison

I don't remember too many publically schooled kids that could socialize outside their own age group.

They show a superiority and disdain for younger people and can't seem to look adults in the face. The need to appear "cool" seems to magically override their sense of decent behavior.

Only in homeschooled children, do I see a pattern of willingness to play with younger children, including toddlers and babies while also seeing real coversation, smiles, and eye contact with adults. Remember, this behavior is uncool in the school yard.

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