Homeschooling Mom of Four Boys Needs Help

by Elizabeth
(Delaware)

Sibling rivalry and bad attitudes in the homeschool classroom - experienced and overcome these homeschooling problems? Please help!

Hi,

I have been homeschooling my eldest son since he was born ten years ago. In that time we've added a six, four, and one year old.

There is a problem we are having that seems to be getting worse and I really need some advice.

My third son seems to be left out all the time from his elder brothers games, interaction, etc. Of course I have spent time teaching the two bigger boys to include him and to be thoughtful but our six year old is really resistant, especially when his eldest brother is around.

Here is the crux of the problem -- because we HOMESCHOOL, this means that we are together most of the time. The only time the eldest is not around is when he is gone away for the day to co-op once a week.

It also seems that our four year old is extra-sensitive. He often says he's not a "good boy," especially when he hears us compliment his brothers on something they've done well. Of course we make sure to affirm him at the same time but it doesn't seem to be enough. It seems he is starting to marginalize himself, i.e. won't play with them even when invited. It's like he knows that I made them ask. He seems sad often and says that no one wants to play with him.

There have been times when I've traveled to visit family in Fl and taken him with me and I have noticed such a positive change in behavior and demeanor when we've had this kind of one-on-one together. The best way I can put it is he's like a wilting flower that gets water and starts to perk up when he gets this kind of attention. But this is not a practical solution.

I struggle with wanting to send my six year old to school (especially since he's said he'd be happier in regular school) because I assume it would automatically get rid of the all-day buddy-buddy problem with his elder brother and I would have more time for my four year old.

But I honestly believe THAT decision would not be good for the six year old's character...he's already kind of mean to begin with. I believe that God can change these negative sibling dynamics and I'm praying for this daily.

But is there something more I can do?

I feel overwhelmed with all of my homeschooling responsibilities and it's very difficult to make "special" time for the four year old consistently and often which is the only thing that seems to help.

Please give me your advice.

Sincerely,

A Mom Who Wants To Do The Best For ALL Her Boys