Homeschooling and Protective Parents

by Savanah
(South Carolina )

I'm going into the 11th grade this year and I've been homeschooled ever since 6th grade and I hate it. My parents are so protective and don't want me involved in normal life situations. I know they're just homeschooling me because they want me to be safe & they care for me and love me, but they take it too far. They won't let me do anything or go anywhere. I have only 1 friend and she's my cousin & I only get to see her about once every 2 months if I'm lucky. That's as close as a social life as I get. It's really starting to bother me too, especially as I get older. I want the life of a normal 16 year old girl & I just don't have that. I just want to be normal, have a social life, and friends. Is that too much to ask for? I dearly wish my parents would put me back in public school. It's even starting to affect how I function in public. When I get around people I feel so uncomfortable & start shaking. I guess I've just been isolated for so long. I'm ready for something to change.

Hi Savanah,
I’m sorry that homeschooling hasn’t been a positive experience for you. I understand how you think going back to public school would be a solution to your
problems – public school does offer the convenience of easily seeing your peers on a daily basis. As a parent, I also understand why parents choose homeschooling over public education. I also realize that not every parent chooses homeschooling for the right reasons and/or there may be other factors that cause parents to make certain decisions. Perhaps this is true in your case.

Unless families live in out in the country someplace with little access to people, many homeschooled students successfully develop friendships while homeschooling. You don't need to go to public school to be a "normal 16 year old girl". I'm not sure your parent's reasons for not letting you go anywhere, but perhaps you could sit down and talk with them. Perhaps you have already.

I know for my teens, they needed to complete/keep-up with their schoolwork and their personal/family responsibilities (chores, commitments they made) before they could go out or have friends over.

If you are keeping up with your schoolwork, responsibilities, etc. and you have addressed the situation in a respectful way, perhaps you could seek the counsel of another adult you trust. They may give you some helpful advice or be willing to sit down with you and your parents to work out a solution.

I hope this helps, Savanah! If you have comments or need further assistance, feel free to post below.
Heather :)

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Jul 19, 2012
advice is not what you think NEW
by: Mrs Dani

First, I too am sorry about the problems you have mentioned. May I please offer some suggestions that might work.

Before I do, you need to understand this is really not a homeschool problem but a family problem. You are under the mistaken idea that going to public school would solve this. I fear you would be wrong. While you would be able to "see" people on a regular basis, you would not have time to develop any relationship with them. Two reasons why: first, the only time you would get to interact is between classes (for a few min. if you are lucky) and at lunch if the school allows kids to talk; second; if your parents are so protective at home, they will be more so if you are in school so you REALLY wouldnt be allowed to do anything and you would be even more miserable.

Now let me give you some advice that might help.

1) Savanah, you need to be honest with yourself. Have YOU done anything in the past (or currently) that would make your parents not trust you? You need to be honest about this. If so, you might need to have a talk with your parents about changing your attitude or behavior.

2)If something has happened in the past; a big sister going on drugs, a sibling being kidnapped, or some horrible event, you may have to be understanding of your parents. However, they do need to understand that you must learn to live your own life. You may need to sit down & have an honest, heart to heart talk with your parents. You need to be a mature person for this; no whinning about "everyone else gets to," no crying, screaming, drama or whatever. If possible, a trusted adult like an aunt, grandparents, deacon in the church or whatever at your side would help all of you.

3) perhaps a mini trust exercise is in order. YOu need to find out why your parents dont trust you or are worried about you being in public. Again, you may need to be willing to listen & face the truth about something ....or perhaps not. Perhaps your parents are overzealous about protecting you. There is A LOT of bad stuff in this world but you cant hide from it. Perhaps you could drive to the grocery store or library once a week to start with. Get some good suggestions from there (notice I said good. Asking to go to a Lady Gaga concert would not be a good start ;~)

As I said, this is not a schooling problem. I know over a hundred homeschooling families & NONE of them isolate their children. As a matter of fact being out in the real world has made them better able to interact with people. You need to get to face the issue; whether it be overprotective parents or how YOU act.

ps stay away from the drama of "When I get around people I feel so uncomfortable & start shaking. I guess I've just been isolated for so long." A better (& less drama queenish ) way to put it is , " I really need to get more practice with how to deal with people"

Jul 13, 2015
Nice post NEW
by: pretti

Miss Dania is very experienced teacher of home schooling. She has good track record, she try best to make every children hard worker and talented. I think now those children are lucky who are in Home school with Miss Dania. Very few teachers feel their responsibility and Miss Dania is one of them. I'm trying to place order best essays but like to appreciate her effort. Keep sharing.

Jul 13, 2015
spam alert NEW
by: Mrs Dani

I think the above comment is spam. First, it has nothing to do with the discussion. Second, the grammar is atrocious. I do NOT suggest anyone click on the link.

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